Article by Sir S.G.
A collar. A symbol. A privilege.
Many people do not know the real meaning behind the collar and that is frankly quite upsetting. Especially as the BDSM lifestyle continues to grow and expand, people do not understand the true purpose of being collard. What is supposed to be a symbol of ownership, and most of the time love, is constantly abused every day. For people just wanting to try out “kinky shit” after reading fifty shades of grey, by experimenting with different toys, have got it completely wrong. The collar means so much more than just another object used in our amazing lifestyle.
It’s supposed to be a privilege to have a good Master let alone to be collared by one. A collar is supposed to be given to a submissive when his/her Master wants to claim full ownership of them. It is also a time when titles are changed a little. ‘My Master/Mistress’ will now become ‘My Owner’. People underestimate the power of a collar because it may not seem like much but in reality it is one of the most sacred things in BDSM.
Some people even hold ‘collaring ceremonies’ because to U/us it really does mean a lot. In a way it is as symbolic as a wedding ring, which is why it is frustrating to hear people just use it as another sexy toy. There are three main types of collars, although sometimes depending on the relationship not all of them will be used.
The Collars
A “Collar of Consideration“
Usually the first step in a potentially new relationship between a Dominant and submissive. It is usually worn for an agreed period of time. This collar symbolizes a potential committed relationship between the people involved. Therefore this collar should not be taken lightly as there is nothing casual about it. The ‘consideration‘ time period is also known as the courting period.
A “Training Collar”
is the next collar in the relationship. It will be offered by the Dominant when the ‘consideration’ period is over. Huge discussions will take place, stating: likes, dislikes, needs and desires, also assessing each others personalities and deciding whether the relationship should be taken any further.
This collar is a signal to other Dominants AND submissives telling them, that this relationship is on a serious level and has the potential to become a long-term commitment. The Dominant may also move into different areas of discipline and punishments and may expect higher standards from the submissive. The submissive should be accepting and understanding of the new relationship and look at ways to further please his/her Dominant/Master. The Dominant should also be able to accept the fact that He/She now has a huge responsibility over this particular submissive. This stage in the relationship is hugely about trust and is not a light commitment. This collar is often referred to as an engagement ring and the period as the engagement period.
A “Training Collar” — may also be given by a Dominant to a particular submissive if they wish to train and mentor him/her. The mentoring Dominant will teach the submissive the correct way to behave and the proper protocols. The mentoring Dominant will sometimes also help the submissive look for a Dominant of his/her own, and overtime the submissive will hopefully then go on into their own committed relationship with a Dominant of equal respect and standard.
A “Permanent Collar”
The last collar stage goes by a few names depending on the Dominant. (i.e. Formal Collar, Slave Collar, and Permanent Collar) all the same thing as it were.
Sir S.G. explanation ext:
- #formal another word for official collar , usually presented to a submissive or slave in a special ceremony, similar to a wedding ceremony, The Dominant invites fellow Dominant and colleagues , family and friends and other witnesses also of the submissive or slave’s.
- That said some Dominants don’t go through all that hence making it “non-formal” T/their level of Domination and submission may have been a little less gentle and more hardcore therefore instead a name the Dominant may decide for it may be #slave collar. Especially if he/she was trained to be His/Her property and made to remain in a certain mindset throughout their training, to keep them there as they are happy and content a #slave may have been the final stage for him/her. And that alone symbolizes something special between the both of them.
- And now the #permenant collar is more neutral it could be for a submissive or slave, or pet etc. It also doesn’t categorize how the Dominant/submissive goes about acknowledging it’s value. It does however have the same significant importance as being the final stage and victory for the submissive or slave and surely a moment of pride, joy and love for His/Her special “one”whom by this time has earned the Dominant’s devotion, respect and love unconditionally. It is compared to a wedding ring because most D/s couples remain in this union until death. end of Sir. S.G. extension:
It is the final stage in the Dominant and submissive relationship, it reflects the bond between them and shows the devotion and commitment gone into their relationship. This is usually when the Dominant titles changes to Owner, as it shows that the submissive or slave belongs to Them in every possible way; it also shows that the Dominant takes complete responsibility for the submissive.
#sidenote Which is why it’s very important for a submissive or slave to always be mindful of his/her behavior less they shame their Dominant and His House in the public eye….which can lead to a bad reputation on the Dominant’s part.
Acceptance of the collar means that the submissive is willing to fully submit to their Dominant. The next collar is not much talked about but it’s of great importance too especially to T/those that have need for it.
A “Protection Collar”
which is another collar also known in the BDSM Community. This collar symbolizes that a submissive is under the protection of a particular Dominant and His/Her House/Homestead/Crest etc.
It is usually given to a submissive if they have just gotten out of an abusive relationship or if they are being harassed or stalked. The submissive is unapproachable by other Dominants unless the protecting Dominant gives them permission.
If the Protecting Dominant feels that another well respected Dominant is good for his/her and will treat the submissive well; They in good faith then give consent to often times a highly knowledgeable and Respectable Dominant in the BDSM Community, one that meets the Protecting Dominant’s quality and standard.